Confluence: Beside the Carousel.

It’s amazing what can happen when you let a shift ripple across your life. When one thing starts to fold into another as you tuck away some of the decision making ruffians that have held sway previously. Like ego and mind and the persisting of the way things have been.

I feel like I’ve been on the carousel. It’s been a great ride and I’ve quite liked some of the horses. I thought I rode Black Beauty, the Black Stallion and the Pie. I took an unplanned journey in the company of carousel horses who led me where they were supposed to and I did not protest. I played half-heartedly with the reins, enjoying the feel of their smoothness and roughness as the horses’ heads remained turned to straight ahead. I had a really great journey. But I think what I really wanted was Pegasus.

Today I made a significant decision. It was a good decision. And its significance took a while to become clear to me. I sought the rationale, I built the case, I assembled a jury. But that wasn’t it. It was something else. I jumped into the bath and stayed there and waited and let all things rise to the top and float so I could make sense of them. I had to backtrack a little and work out why the decision was casting crescendo when before I could just tap it back in line and excuse its voice. And what’s significant?

It’s the gift of a return that’s done the trick. That’s what’s significant. It’s the return of a worldview that values things differently and has different priorities and cares. You see the carousel is nice and it’s fun, but the real action is what is happening beside the carousel.

When you’re not on the carousel and when you’re not looking at it, what is there to see? What else is important? Who else is about and what are they doing? What can you bring into question? What propels you? What do you want to give a chance? What don’t you want to let fall apart? What’s feeling chained up? What do you want to set free? Is there another playground? Does the river flow the other way? What are you walking from? What are you running to? Is your destination different when you let the ripples flow?

Suddenly there’s a rightness in my unknown. I’m off the carousel. I’m not coming around again to the same tune. It calls more for faith and goodness and chance and creation and creativeness on terms that don’t reflect people but are people.

So I have a new way of bringing into question the choices I make and why. I’m back to a more fundamental touching of what matters. It’s a nice connection. It’s the confluence of personal change and authentic self and new things in my world. There’s more room for new ways of seeing and being.The abstract has gained in appeal and in return I too can be more me by being less defined but with greater clarity.

The forecast is for uncertainty. The isobars picked spontaneity and decided to dance. They’re bent out of shape and the atmospheric pressure has been released opening new spaces for the sea level to reach into. The weather map is at large and your prediction is as good as mine, but I hope it rains. I hope the rivers run together.

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