It was in the early morning hours
When I fell into a phone call
Believing I had supernatural powers
I slammed into a brick wall
My intellect has been battling my faith the past week. Well maybe not battling, but it’s in search of answers and banging its head on a brick wall, when really the answer is acceptance, preferably humbly. Cut through the arguments of old logic and experience, put aside fear, and it’s simple. Where have I left that lion of mine again?!
I lay in the bath tonight looking at the old taps in the fading light and they took on the personas of my intellect and spirit. One espoused, the other steadily dripped. I looked at them sitting there and thought about how long they’ve been there together in this house and reminded intellect and spirit that they’ve been cohabiting in me as long as I can remember, and that ultimately, they are tapped in to the same source. They are creating this deep puddle I’m contemplating in.
I returned to the morning. I awoke early to the sound of magpie song. A sound I so love. It’s a let loose, liberated sound. I just have to remember that my authentic self is like that too. Authentic self can’t be a destination. It’s actually already here. It just got layered and muffled. With the spirit of the magpie I need to not be worried about the reception, just enjoying the feel of making that music and releasing it. Pleasure and rightness just in the being. Sound is story in motion. It’s not coming out of the beak of that bird, it’s coming out of its whole being. At least that’s how it seems to me. It pours into my well of joy and most times comes out as a smile.
I was walking down the street
When I thought I heard this voice say
“Say, ain’t we walking down the same street together
On the very same day?”
I said, “Hey Senorita that’s astute”
I said, Why don’t we get together
And call ourselves an institute?”
There may continue to be manifestations of disappointment at me being layered as I keep peeling it off. However I need to just cop that, it will essentially deepen me. I’m sticking with the institute of me. And I’ve got a long-standing membership. I’m tapping in. I’ve got the inside scoop, I’m on the cutting edge, I know the score, of me. When I’m forward facing I don’t feel haunted, I can be more than a haunt, be beyond place, be an institute of outreach.
I just need to stay tapped in. There’s lots of togetherness involved. Intellect, sprit, soul; past, present, future; want, need, desire, have. Faith feels like the interaction between them all right now.
My muse gave me a word today. Splendour. It’s got me thinking about mornings and appreciation…and artificial sweetener.
And tell me why
Why won’t you love me
For who I am
Where I am?
He said, “Cause that’s not the way the world is, baby
This is how I love you, baby
This is how I love you, baby
I still love myself even though I have forgotten how to love mornings and who I am is asleep and where I am is in bed. And I don’t have tolerance any longer for something less than the real deal. But I think there’s nothing artificial about mornings and appreciation and love and splendour…and getting out into the day early this morning was magnificence, nobility, sumptuousness, fineness, gorgeousness– all those splendour things that make me want to do it again tomorrow!
There’s nothing that makes a day longer and deeper in a good way than finding the small joys and things to celebrate and love and share and putting them in your pocket to smile at later. And there’s splendour in planning for longer, deeper days too. It invites hope and springs optimism. It brands your belief in things with a majesty that can manifest in ways that surprise and delight.
Sweet July, and we drove the Montauk Highway
And walked along the cliffs above the sea
And we wondered why, and imagined it was someday
And that is how the future came to be
Tonight I’m tapping into what’s going on in my head and heart, I’m choosing splendour and in the background there’s a soundtrack. This blog is seasoned therefore with a liberal sprinkling of Paul Simon lyrics…a sign of renewed appreciation after watching him play last night and recounting how and when he’s been in my life through music – it’s splendid!